You Make Me Want To Live Again
by Julie Anna T
Summary: Nico's life has always been shitty... until he meets Percy, on his third week at College. College AU. One-shot. Slash.


**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or HoO, Rick Riordan does. And I'm not getting any money by writing this fanfiction either.**

* * *

**You Make Me Want To Live Again**

_by percico-feels_

* * *

The first time it happens, Nico is in second grade; it has been a long time, but he remembers it quite clearly.

His 7 years old self walks down those large hallways at school, sneaking through the sea of older students and trying to reach the cafeteria in one piece. His Star Wars lunchbox secure in his tiny hands, carrying his lunch along with his so beloved Mythomagic cards.

Nico doesn't see the bully, maybe two or three years older than him, approaching. He doesn't see that the said bully is holding a cup full of Coke, nor he sees that this same kid has an evil grin plastered on his face, so unusual on children his age. Nico just realizes what is happening when the Coke is already soaking his clothes and hair, ruining the Incredible Hulk t-shirt he loves so much and sending shivers down his arms, thanks to the cold liquid.

People around him stop and stare at his direction, but no one tries to help. The bully looks extremely proud of himself and of what he has just done.

"Loser!" he accuses.

Then, he simply leaves, throwing the now empty cup of Coke on Nico and walking past him. The bully makes sure to bump forcefully on the smaller boy and almost sends him to the floor. The older one's friends laugh at their friend's attitude and some other students join them.

And Nico cries.

He cries because he is only seven and someone has just done something extremely mean to him, in his childish perspective of course. He cries because he is soaked in Coke and his t-shirt is ruined. And he cries because everyone is laughing at him, although Nico doesn't think of that whole situation as funny at all.

It's the third day of school; Nico di Angelo is only seven and has just suffered his first attack. Wishing it or not, he never forgets that day.

* * *

When High School starts, the 'jokes' get more violent.

Pushes against the lockers are frequent and Nico gets lots of bruises on his shoulders because of it. Threats are quite common and the promise of beatings happens from time to time. Nico doesn't let those occurrences bother him in the slightest; he is not seven anymore.

He is no longer that little boy, who used to wear superheroes t-shirts and he no longer carries his Mythomagic cards to wherever he goes. He doesn't have that innocence and naivety he had when he was an easily impressionable child, starved of attention. The school and the bullying he suffered for years have made him immune to that kind of senseless humiliation.

Nico doesn't have friends and it's not looking for them. People are too cruel and too stupid and too unworthy for him to even consider the idea of letting anyone get closer. He used to have a sister, who he loved dearly, but she's gone now and it is exactly the loss of this sister that shields him against all kinds of emotional pain.

He shuts himself from the world.

He shuts himself in his own world and builds psychological barriers to keep people away; it's the only way he finds of protecting himself from any emotional harm, it's his way of surviving.

The attacks he suffers at school are nothing. He ignores them the majority of time and this bothers his attackers profoundly. Beatings happen sometimes because of that, or whenever Nico gives a sarcastic answer to the not-so-smart insults of the bullies.

High School is hell, is chaos, but Nico stands it. He doesn't have much choice, does he?

* * *

When College starts, Nico doesn't expect any great change in his life and it doesn't happen indeed.

People are too predictable on their actions to even surprise him and college is nothing but the continuation of High School. The only difference between them is that in College no one really cares about what happens to him, and no one tries to hide this fact.

So he keeps going, just like he has done previously.

He has already survived ten years of abuse and beatings and humiliations; survive the next five years is nothing in comparison.

* * *

Nico meets Percy on his third week at college and it's completely unplanned.

He walks through the hallways in a hurry, trying to carry all his books with one hand, while he uses the other to finish a donut. He is late for his first class and is certain that the Professor will complain endlessly about it. And it's when he is thinking of how badly he needs to get to class and of what a terrible day he is having that Nico runs into someone and his books, along with his half-eaten donut and the person's bag, falls to the floor.

That's everything Nico doesn't need; he is already late, hungry and he is not in the mood of hearing complains of some clumsy imbecile, that most certainly will blame him for that accident.

Nico crouches quickly, picking up his things as fast as he can in order to get the hell out of there.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you coming."

Nico is taken aback by the apology and freezes on his place for some seconds. He forgets about his books and faces the voice's owner for the first time.

Crouched in front of him, helping Nico to pick up the books scattered on the floor, is a typical jock. Tall, with a well-build body, tanned skin, black hair and bright green eyes; strong jaw, perfect cheekbones and an easy smile adorning his lips. The guy facing him is simply stunning and Nico doesn't know what to say at first.

"It's okay" he mumbles, when he regains his voice.

The green-eyed guy finishes collecting Nico's books and stands up, act that Nico himself copies.

"Here" the guy says, handing the books to Nico "I'm sorry again, I got distracted and really didn't see you."

Nico shrugs, showing indifference about the accident. They share a brief look; then the guy straightens his backpack and looks at the clock on his wrist.

"Damn it, the coach it's gonna skin me" he says, frowning and getting his bag on the floor "I'm really sorry I bumped into you, but I gotta go."

He walks away right after that, giving Nico no time to reply.

"See you around!" the guy shouts, turning around briefly and waving at Nico, before sprinting through Campus.

Nico doesn't know it yet, but that first encounter with Percy (the green-eyed guy of whom he doesn't even know the name) is the beginning of his first true friendship.

* * *

Nico is studying on the farthest place on the library when he sees Percy for the second time.

His exams are less than a week away and Nico doesn't know what a good night of sleep is anymore. The dark circles under his eyes are darker than ever and Nico barely has time to eat; with the amount of texts and works his teaches have passed, spare time is a luxury Nico doesn't possess at the time.

Sitting on a hidden table on the place, Nico has a wall of textbooks around him and unaware of the green-eyed guy approaching him. To say the truth, Nico just notices that he is not alone anymore when a paper bag suddenly appears less than six inches away from his face.

That not-so-discreet act calls his attention, obviously, and Nico can't be more surprised when he sees the guy he has run into almost a month ago. He blinks one, two, three times, but no words come out of his mouth. Nico's lack of reaction doesn't seem to bother the guy, though.

"Do you mind taking this bag I'm offering you? My arm is getting numb" he says simply.

Nico does as the guy asks, when he realizes he is staring. He takes the paper bag and peeks its inside. There's a donut in the bag.

"Why are you giving me a donut?"

The question drops from his lips naturally because, come one, no one starts distributing donuts to strangers without a good reason.

The guy shrugs and sits on the chair next to where Nico is sitting.

"Because I owe you donut" he says, resting on the chair and when the younger one frowns, indicating that he doesn't know what the hell he is talking about, he adds "You were eating a donut when I ran into you and you dropped it, I owed you."

"That was more than a month ago" Nico replies, with the bag still in his hands.

A laugh leaves the guy's lips.

"Well, you're not exactly an easy person to find on Campus" he explains "It took me over a week to find out your name and I just did found out your name, because I asked to a secretary at the Rector's office. No one on Campus was able to answer who you were when I asked them."

That whole situation is so strange for him; Nico simply can't understand why someone would have any interest on him.

"Because you owed me a donut?"

His question is kind of stupid, he knows it, but he doesn't care. The only thing that matters at the moment is that some jock is talking to him and is being kind; two things that Nico learned, during school, that don't happen without a second intention.

"I don't like being in debt with anyone" the guy replies "And besides, after the first week, finding you became a personal challenge and I love challenges."

Nico rolls his eyes, trying to decide if he should be angry at what the guy has just said, or if he should be glad that someone is talking to him on free will.

"I'm Percy, by the way."

He offers his hand, but the younger one hesitates; he is still not sure if he trusts Percy's good intentions or not.

"Nico" he says, finally shaking the hand Percy is offering.

Percy smiles brightly.

"I know exactly who you are, Nico di Angelo. As I said, I've been looking for you for a long time."

"Because you owed me a donut."

Nico knows he is blushing; he can feel the heat on his face and he gets really angry about it.

"Because I owed you a donut" Percy agrees, laughing.

And for some weird reason, Nico laughs too.

* * *

In the end, Percy is not so unbearable like the rest of the world - and as Nico thought he would be.

And once his exams are over and Nico is allowed to do something other than studying, the two of them start spending some time together (because Percy is a really persistent guy).

In three weeks, Nico learns three facts about Percy that he will never forget:

1. Percy has a weird fixation about blue food;

2. He has a serious hero complex that always gets him into trouble;

3. He's the fastest swimmer Nico has ever seen.

* * *

They hang out a couple of times, they share meals, talk, exchange a bit about their lives back home and what they expect for their future to be like.

Nico is sure that at some point Percy will just get tired of him and will vanish from his life forever. While this doesn't happen, however, Nico allows himself to enjoy that unexpected friendship they have built. Because, honestly, it's good to have someone he can talk to, after surviving by his own for so long. To Nico, it feels almost like he is actually living again.

* * *

Time passes. Days become weeks and, soon, the semester is over.

A new semester starts; the same chaos, the same madness of works and projects. The number of attacks Nico suffers decreases drastically, although it never stops completely.

And Percy keeps being part of Nico's life.

Frustrating everything Nico has thought, Percy doesn't vanish from his life and their friendship gets stronger by each day. To be honest, Percy fills great part of Nico's life and, consequently, now Nico indeed has a social life and (surprisingly) a couple of friends.

Through Percy, Nico makes friends that he wasn't looking for, although now he feels really lucky for meeting them.

In Annabeth, Nico finds someone with whom he can discuss art and literature and share all the interests everyone else finds too boring, but the two of them find fascinating.

In Jason, he finds someone worth his trust and that is always willing to help, always willing to support him in his choices.

And in Hazel... when he is with Hazel, Nico feels at peace, he feels at home. It's almost like having a sister once more.

* * *

Nico notices that his feelings for Percy are changing on his third semester at College.

It is a day like any other. Nico is studying on the library like he always does on Wednesday afternoons, when Percy shows up, bringing with him a paper bag with a donut. Percy knows Nico forgets to eat when he is studying, so the older boy always brings something for his friend when his last class of the day ends.

There is nothing special on that day; no strange occurrence, no changes on their routines and no contretemps, but on some way everything is different. He doesn't know if the difference is about him, or if it's about Percy; Nico just feels that that apparently ordinary Wednesday afternoon is not so ordinary anymore.

And when Percy shows at the library, the same way he has already done countless times before, Nico's heart starts racing like it has never done. The mere fact that Percy is there, suddenly, is enough to make Nico's stressful day better.

"One day your brain will melt if you keep studying like that" Percy says, smiling that easy smile of his.

The smile makes Nico nervous and his heart races even more. It's a stupid and nonsensical reaction, but it takes a few seconds until Nico can control himself again.

"And you won't die if you study a bit more" he shots back; on a tone he expects to be amicable.

"Point for you."

Percy hands him the paper bag with the donut. Nico accepts it with no hesitation and everything gets back to normal. Nico's heart beats in the rate it has always beaten and he doesn't feel nervous anymore.

Everything is easy again and Nico convinces himself that that episode is just a one-time thing.

* * *

The problem is that that episode is just the first of an endless series of episodes, Nico soon finds out.

His stomach develops the habit of squirming whenever Percy is around, the same way that his knees get weaker whenever the older one smiles. At some moments, Nico has to make a great effort not to blush and that is something really annoying.

But Nico ignores - or at least tries to ignore - all those signs.

He refuses to believe that what he feels for Percy is more than friendship, because Nico really doesn't need any more drama in his life. He has enough problems at home - with his absent father and hideous stepmother - and at college.

So he decides that those weird feelings he is developing for Percy will not get on the way of the truest friendship he has, because the mere thought of frightening Percy with that whole story is just too unbearable.

* * *

"When are you going to tell Percy you like him?"

When those words leave Annabeth's lips, Nico almost chokes on the chicken he has been eating. His eyes fill with tears, as he tries to breathe at all costs.

"Where did you get this absurd from?" Nico asks; his face is red like a tomato.

Annabeth is not surprised by his reaction, but she doesn't seem to be enjoying it either. She talks on that way that it's so characteristic of her; as someone who is only stating an unquestionable fact and for which she has a mere scientific interest.

"From all those languid looks and from the fact that you become really clumsy when Percy is around" she states, eating some of her salad without much interest "I'm sorry Nico, but if you're trying to hide it, you're doing an awful job."

Nico gulps nervously. What should he tell on that situation? He can't even explain to himself what he feels for Percy, how could he explain it to Annabeth?

"Everything is still to confusing" he says finally, making his friend smirk.

"You're not denying it."

The blush on his cheeks deepens, but Nico doesn't run.

"No, I'm not."

Annabeth doesn't try to persuade him into opening up his heart to Percy. She doesn't insist about knowing details of what her friend has just said and she doesn't press him into making a decision to which he is not prepared yet; Annabeth is too smart and too discreet for that.

She just nods and continues eating her lunch silently, while Nico thinks about the brief conversation they have had.

He has just admitted, even if on a peculiar way, that he likes (loves?) Percy and he kind of feels better after sharing that secret with someone.

That's the first step for his acceptance, and the first step for his happiness.

* * *

He makes his decision on his forth semester at college.

It's Percy's last semester and, although the older one is always assuring Nico that they will keep in touch after he graduates, Nico has the awful sensation that he is running out of time. So when he finds himself alone with Percy on a café near their dormitories on Campus, Nico decides to try.

The fear of screwing everything up is there, along with the nervousness and anxiety of someone who is about to make the biggest mistake of his life. But he keeps going.

He continues and forces himself to talk on that moment, because he knows that he is going to loose all his courage if he doesn't do it.

"Nico?"

Percy's voice takes him away from his reveries and Nico focuses on his friend once again. He can't tell for how long he has been ignoring Percy.

"You wandered off" he says frowning.

"Sorry."

"You know that finals start only next month, right?" Percy asks, taking a sip of his hot cocoa.

"I'm not worried about finals, Percy" Nico replies, analyzing his cup of coffee with more interest than necessary "At least now right now."

Leaning slightly over the table, Percy stares at his friend with more attention. He is not much of an observer, Nico knows it, but Percy already knows Nico for enough time and he can distinguish, at least a little bit, his friend's humors.

"What's the problem, then?" he asks "Is there anyone mistreating you? Because if this is the problem, just say who it is that Jason and I will teach them a lesson."

Nico smiles a bit, touched by Percy's display of zeal. Since the two of them became friends, the attacks against Nico basically stopped. Sometimes a douchebag still tries to make fun of him or tries to do something mean against Nico (because he is an easy target, if you consider it; he's skinny, apparently frail and shorter than most guys his age), but Percy and Jason are always willing to teach those bullies an important lesson; Nico di Angelo is under their protection and this is enough to make even the stupidest of all stupids to think at least twice before doing anything.

"No, no one is mistreating me. No one tries to do anything against me since last semester."

"Great! And I hope it stays like this."

He should feel humiliated for depending of other people's protection, but Nico doesn't really feel like that. Knowing that Percy cares about him, even if it's on a friendly way, warms his heart. Nico has never had anyone to protect him; his mother died too soon, his sister died to soon, his father doesn't care about what happens to him and his stepmother despises him. Now, however, he has friends that care for him, that actually like him, and that knowledge is quite comforting.

He takes a sip of his coffee and makes a disgusted face when he notices that the thing is already cold.

"I need to tell you something, Percy" Nico starts, a bit hesitant and entirely nervous.

He pauses, but Percy says nothing and it's visible that he is giving Nico time to talk. Is it good or bad? Nico really doesn't know, but once Percy is giving him the chance, he takes it, even though he has no clue of exactly what he is going to say.

"Before I say anything, promise me you won't hate me, or try to run away from me."

"Why would I run from you?"

Confusion is more than evident on Percy's face.

"Just promise me."

Nico's voice is low, almost like a plea. He hates himself for it.

"I promise I'm not going to run from you, or hate you" Percy says solemnly "Now spill it, you're scaring me."

The only problem is that Nico doesn't know how to say it. To be honest, the urge he feels at the moment is to get up and run. Nico can feel his palms sweating, even though is already November and the weather is annoyingly cold.

Calm is something he doesn't have at the moment and everything he needs to keep going; he can't run away anymore, because now that he has already began, Percy won't let him get away from that without an explanation.

His feet tap rhythmically on the floor.

"I like you, Percy" Nico blurts out at once, before he overthinks the subject.

Percy's bright green eyes stare at Nico with curiosity and full of life. The frown on his face gradually softens and, soon, that easy trademark smile is once again adorning the older one's lips.

"I like you too, Nico" Percy replies on that carefree tone that is so characteristic of him.

On that moment, though, Nico is sure that Percy misunderstood his confession. The thought brings tears to his dark eyes and intensifies his urge to run from there, but Nico stays right where he is.

"You don't get it" Nico says, forgetting about his cup of cold coffee and staring properly at Percy for the first time. The lump on his throat is a problem, but Nico uses the rest of his courage to finish what he has begun "I like you, Percy, but not only on a friendly way. I'm _in love_ with you."

He looks away after a couple of moments, not really wanting to see the change on his friends face; not wanting to see the look of disgust that will most certainly appear, when Percy finally understands what Nico has just said.

"Nico."

Nico closes his eyes, trying to get a hold on his unsteady breathing and racing heart; he can feel the blood pulsing on his ears and Percy's intense gaze on him, but he doesn't want to look back. His hands are forcefully balled on his lap, as he tries to regain control over his emotions; something that Nico has always done so easily, but that now seems to be the hardest task on the world.

"Nico."

Their eyes finally meet.

There is no trace of disgust on Percy's face, nor even shock or pity. All Nico finds when he stares at the older guy is this great, baffling calmness that reminds Nico of a sea after a storm. It gives him the feeling that everything is going to be okay.

"I got what you meant" Percy assures him "And I like you too."

And when Percy reaches for Nico's hand from under the table and intertwines their fingers, Nico is certain that his heart is going to stop at any moment.

* * *

Not even in his most optimistic dreams, Nico imagined that he was going to be as happy as he actually is now. He has friends he would never trade for anything, he is one of the best students on his class and will most certainly graduate with excellent grades and he has a caring boyfriend that supports him on his decisions.

Love, affection and attention are things that Nico has hardly gotten as a child, but that now are an important part of his life and comes so easily to him.

Now, he has great reasons to live fully and to try to get over all the shit he has been through. For the first time in forever, he wants to _live_; he doesn't want to just survive anymore.

* * *

When his finals begin, Nico is already stressed out for studying so much. Percy is in an even worse situation; he's graduating by the end on the semester and, thanks to all the projects he's currently working on, Nico and him have hardly seen each other on the past two weeks.

It's Monday morning and Nico can barely keep his eyes open. The almost empty cup of coffee is secure on his hand, as he makes the way to his first class of the day.

Nico doesn't see those two douchebags approaching quietly by the end of the hallway. His too distracted trying to remember everything that he has studied during the night to notice two idiots walking by the corridor. But he does notice what is happening when one of the douchebags slaps the hand Nico is using to hold the cup on coffee and the warm liquid spills all over his white shirt. The incident reminds him of the first attack he suffered at school, when he was just 7 years old, and the thought makes his blood boil.

"Shit!" he curses, looking down at his ruined shirt.

The white material of his shirt is now brow, but he thanks God because the coffee is not that hot, or else he would have a pretty big burn on his chest.

"Geek!" one of the guys says, like that's an excellent insult to be used.

"Loser!" the other helps, laughing like the imbecile he is.

Nico clenches his teeth and throws the cup of coffee angrily on the floor, but he has no time to do a thing. Someone runs right beside him and attacks the first of his bullies, punching the douchebag on the face and knocking him down. It doesn't take long for Nico do recognize Percy's athletic figure. He stands right in front of Nico, like a human wall between the younger one and his attackers.

"Don't ever do that again!" Percy says sharply.

The guy he has knocked down cleans the blood that's coming out of his nose, while his friend helps him to get up. Percy turns to look at his boyfriend, who is quite surprised by that sudden turn of events.

"Are you okay?"

Nico nods and opens his mouth to say something else, but by over Percy's shoulder he sees the two douchebags coming right to where they are.

"Percy, watch out!" he warns, but it's already too late.

Both guys attack Percy at the same time, before he can do anything, and then everything is chaos! The sound of punches, kicks and grunts fill the place and draw the attention of everyone who walks by.

And dropping his backpack on the floor, Nico runs to help his boyfriend, before those idiots end up outnumbering Percy.

* * *

Percy groans in pain when Nico puts some antiseptic on the cut on his eyebrow. Yeah, Percy won the fight, but that doesn't mean that he walked away from it without a scratch.

"You're an idiot" Nico says, pressing the gauze on Percy's injury once more, but more carefully this time.

"I know" Percy agrees and smiles. He has a black eye, a split lip and considerably large cut on his eyebrow, but Percy still smiles and Nico can't help but smile back "But I'm _your_ idiot."

Nico shakes his head, but the small smile never leaves his lips.

He finishes cleaning the cut, then discards the piece of gauze.

"I don't want you to get into trouble for such stupid reasons" Nico states, now more seriously "I'm studying to be a Psychologist, Percy, not a nurse. I don't like patching you up like this."

Percy grabs Nico's wrists delicately, and brings his boyfriend closer, making him sit on his lap. Nico doesn't complain.

"I didn't get into trouble for a stupid reason, I was protecting you and this is not stupid at all" he argues.

Percy's eyes are hypnotizing, specially when they're so close, and Nico has to make some effort to keep focused on anything other than those green orbs. His pale fingers trace Percy's cheekbones fondly. It's amazing how Percy is still able to look incredibly handsome, even with some bruises covering his face.

"I know you wanted to protect me, but I don't like seeing you like this. You can't be so reckless with your well-being, Percy."

Percy sighs.

"Okay, Nico" he promises "I'll try to think more before doing something on impulse, but those two douchebags deserved the beating and I don't regret it."

"My hero!" Nico says; and he's being half sarcastic and half sincere.

He wraps he arms around Percy's neck and brings their faces really close. Percy ends the space between them and kisses Nico with enthusiasm, despite his split lip, and Nico allows himself to be kissed, enjoying it quite a bit. But not long after, Nico breaks the kiss, not wanting to hurt Percy more than he's already hurt. Percy doesn't let him get up, though.

"Nico, kissing is part of the treatment" he explains, on a serious tone that Nico knows really well that's fake "It helps healing my injuries."

Nico rolls his eyes, but laughs.

"Of course it helps, how could I forget such an important detail?"

"I forgive you."

And wasting no more time, Percy kisses Nico again.

* * *

Nico di Angelo is 23 when he graduates and he doesn't go back to his father's house when it happens. Instead, he and Percy move together into a small apartment on New York.

Life is tough, is difficult and Nico has to work as hell to win his firsts patients, but Nico wouldn't trade the life he has for anything in the world. He and Percy have a steady and solid relationship, friends to share the good and bad moments with and, among all, they are willing to build a life together.

And analyzing all changes that have occurred on his life until that moment, Nico realizes that the worst part is past him and ahead all he sees is the promise of happiness and a good life with the person he loves.

No, he wouldn't trade that at all.

_**~FINIS**_

* * *

**Thanks for reading, my darlings. Your opinion is highly appreciated. :)**


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